on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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