never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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