this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
