Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
