Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
