WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
