I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
