The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
