I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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