My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
