He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
