youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
