Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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