she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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