I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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