If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
