I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were trust falling into bushes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
