508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
