it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
