So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
