hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
