hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
