Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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