he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Randomize
