thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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