i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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