my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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