So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
