Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
