WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
