so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
