i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
