I showed him my bush... on skype.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
