i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
