I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
