I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
