apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
