Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
