I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Holy sore nipples Batman
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
