Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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