You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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