In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
