why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
