i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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