this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
