His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
