Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
why is half of my head shaved?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
