i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
