there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
