Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
