THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My feet surprised me
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