I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
